Dear Six Flags

Dear Six Flags,

There was a time when I would beg my parents to go to Six Flags Over Texas.  Any part of Texas, really.  Arlington or San Antonio, it didn't matter to me.  I LOVE roller coasters.  I love theme parks in general.  I'm older now and I still love roller coasters and theme parks, and in my heart I still love Six Flags, but I'm also a high school teacher.  And once a year, we take all of the band, choir, and orchestra students who have earned the right to play at Texas State Solo and Ensemble in Austin to Six Flags Fiesta Texas.  And they love it.  They love it so much.  It makes me happy to see them have a good time.

But, dear Six Flags, it's always at the end of May and it's always too humid for this El Pasoan. Furthermore, it comes after a grueling weekend of long bus rides (did I mention we live in El Paso?), fast food, gas station food, hotel breakfast, and running around after kids all over the UT Austin campus, often while carrying or dragging heavy things and stepping over exhausted teenagers stretched out on every available surface, whining about how incredibly awful their three hour car ride home is.  So, unfortunately, by the time I get to Six Flags, I just can't bear to get on a roller coaster.  I fear that it would anger my aging body and really, a ten hour bus ride home after that just doesn't sound all that appealing.  Not at all. I had spinal surgery last year and, because I know you post signs warning about such things, I won't be going on the roller coasters at all.

I will spend my time at Six Flags in the air conditioned food court, probably with a book and a bottle of ibuprofen, watching Looney Tunes.  I might hop on the train once or go through that Scooby Doo haunted house ride.  It's pretty tame.  And let me tell you: after two days of fast food, gas station food, hotel breakfast, and UT Austin student fundraiser barbecue sandwiches, there is virtually no limit on what I would pay for a salad bar.  Your website indicates that your pizzeria offers salads, but, a salad bar is pretty different.  I'm going to take a guess and say that the pizzeria salads are pre-assembled and are primarily lettuce.

Let's start at $25.  I would seriously, at this point in the trip, pay $25 for a single trip to the salad bar.  A.  Single.  Trip.  Throw in extra trips and make it a really, really good salad bar (a la Jason's Deli) and I'll up it to $35.  I'm not even kidding. Because even if I don't spend the day in the heat at the park, I spent the day before this in the heat at UT Austin, and the thought of just about anything else makes me a little queasy.

Thanks, Six Flags.  I'll always love you deep down.